In another of my classes, Women's Studies 001, we are required to follow a blog that discusses any topic related to the course material. On the blog I decided to follow, feministing.com, I found a fairly old post from August 2010 called Love the Way You Lie. This post showed a group chat of women's opinions on the music video to the song by Rihanna and Eminem. There seems to be a lot of controversy over whether or not the music video is making domestic violence a bit more sexy or glamorous. Although after being thrown against a wall and almost being punched in the face, Megan Fox, the female in the video, doesn't walk out, but instead kisses Dominic Monaghan, the male in the video. The depiction of abuse turning into sexual experiences is the issue at hand.
As a person who was once in this situation, I wasn't "turned on" by the abuse, and I don't believe that is what the video is showing. I believe the video is showing a true account of domestic violence in a relationship where both people are abusive, each taking turns provoking the other. For me, staying with the abusive boyfriend was because I felt there was no way out. And acting like everything was alright, which does mean kissing and acting like a couple, was the only way to avoid further abuse. Maybe it is because of my experiences, but to me it seems that Megan Fox is in the same position. She wants to be out of the relationship and tries leaving in part of the video, but finds herself being brought back in because of the violent threats posed against her.
Another aspect of the video that some people disagree with is the ending. It starts and ends the same way, with the couple laying in bed sleeping. It was a good choice to do this because it shows a cycle. Many think that it was a bad idea because it doesn't seem to give enough advice, almost, to get out of the relationship. I think it's more along the lines of reality, than what should happen in a situation like this. As much as someone wants to get out of a relationship like this, it's definitely a struggle and can take a long time with a lot of efforts. I attempted leaving my ex-boyfriend 27 times before I finally was able to. I receive constant criticism that I should have told someone or just got up and left, and what people don't understand is that it's not that easy, which is why I believe that this music video is an accurate depiction of domestic violence and the cycle it can take on.
I commend you for your strength in your own experiences. However, despite the objections to this song and it's video, it is still a form of expression and art. As a staunch advocate for the 1st Amendment, I believe that anything can be expression. Although you may disagree with something's message or means, it opens an avenue for discussion. There are abusive relationships out there, but I don't think that his song glorifies it in any way. It's like you said: it's "an accurate depiction of domestic violence". And afterward, women got together to discuss this huge problem.
ReplyDeleteIt must take a lot of strength to talk about so personal a topic and I envy you for that.
ReplyDeleteI also don't think the video glorifies anything at all, in fact all it really tries to do is sell itself on sex and violence.
I wish I could talk about something so personal. I found your analysis of the video really interesting. Especially since its from someone with your experiences.
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